i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
