walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
porn star boner night. come get it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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