we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
