I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
