Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
