Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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