And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
