i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
