i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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