Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
do herpes really smell.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
