So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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