do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
