I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
