The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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