u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
