She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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