Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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