he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
