it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
