we're blogging at a bar
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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