Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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