Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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