woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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