found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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