Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
