soooo we both peed the bed last night...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
