So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
