fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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