i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
