I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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