I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
