I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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