I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
