Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
