how can u be prego again
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
