dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
