Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
