Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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