lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
