WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
