i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
