i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I believe in your delicious
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
