she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
