One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
