I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
