She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
