As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
