My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
