I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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