I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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