I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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